StoryTellers

Every day, we tell stories. They may be in songs, poems, prose, sagas, tall tales, unbelievable stories where truth is stranger than fiction. Some short like yes, no, maybe. Some are lengthy, detailed explanations. We ask, “How was your day? Anything interesting happen?”  A story follows. Often stories are attached to questions asked or from volunteered information.

It is an opportunity to learn more about people and for people to learn about you. It is through sharing that relationships can build as we look for common touch points and connections. I met D at church as she shared about taking care of her mother. I walked up after the service to introduce myself. We went out for lunch and the rest is history. We are very close friends.

Stories shape our life, define it, make room for more stories or we can drop some of those stories. Our childhoods are a continuous string of stories and storytelling. When we begin to share early stories, we can use it to help resolve angst and create a way to process what happened. As I have processed some of those stories, I have been able to put events into perspective, offering a healing road of understanding and releasing.

Repeating the stories can be irksome to some people who have already heard it. Kindness helps in understanding for the storyteller when said again. Saying “I remember you telling me that before” is kinder to let them know they are on repeat. Sometimes, we are working out the kinks through the story for our understanding and healing. There is more to the story, parts that have risen up that were deeply buried. Sometimes, it is just an “aha” moment when pieces come together.

There may be times we repeat a story like if we do it enough, we can change the outcome. The outcome that can change is our own inner concepts, a way to let it go. An understanding and compassionate ear and heart can make the difference. If we have those stories that we have had to stuff inside, keep secret, telling them is a huge deal. In the backs of our minds, we can feel like we are betraying the family. That was expected from us, to carry those secrets, even if we became conflicted and ill from them.

In an African nation, I heard that after a person passes away, the griever gets a visitor everyday for 40 days to talk about the deceased as a way to facilitate healing. I wonder if that would aid healing for survivors who would be able to share their stories, peeling off the layers and layers of pain and betrayals.

Maybe that is a key factor in developing connections is through stories, our stories. The healing and even triumph of overcoming such impossible odds, moving out of the darkest night of our souls into hope and light and a gift of ears to hear.