Time is such a fluid thing. Goes fast, goes slow, stops. Life gets redirected often depending on what needs present them, how exhausting the day has been and others demands and urgencies. Then there are those occasions when one can feel like we are in a sci-fi fire fight, being blasted by stun guns and other artillery. We can spin round and round until the dizziness takes over and collapse. How can we take greater charge of our responses instead of reacting in the moment?
Maybe we can look for the exit sign that removes us from that place, space and time to get some fresh air for our lungs and our head. Take a time a part so there is space to get a peek at the bigger picture to figure out what is our responsibility and what we CAN do versus what is out of our control and what we cannot do. With the distractions, we can get off our internal plan being swallowed up by other people.
By becoming so distracted, we can forget about our own wants, needs, emotions, desires and self-care. This is especially indicative if you were the one anointed as the caretaker in family or even the identified patient. Those of us in that position were given that false sense of power those if we did certain things or behaved a certain way, we could effect change and even create better outcomes. Of course, we are set up to fail and can end up with the brunt of the rage for not doing enough. We can also see how driving that train into today how that is working for us in our work and in our relationships.
First stop is just to STOP! I am trying to remove myself from this madness and pull inward to take care of me regardless of how this stance is not popular with others. Is my worth more than do, do, do, do more for others? During times past, when I took breaks from helping others, I noticed that those people left out of my orbit. They either stayed away or tried to return the relationship as a status quo, the way is was in the past.
Gratefully, age and healing impacts me more as I take stock of who I am now, where I want to be going, embrace my dreams and passion. High maintenance relationships are not the best fit for me now. I am looking for more equity in relationships, the investments that flows in both directions.
When we can move ourselves, the wounded selves, too, into the forefront where we can get what we have been missing will help us gain perspective of defining and redefining who and what we are today and about tomorrow. Don’t let the small dream inch us along; dream bigger and be open to the paths that materialize and lead the way.
We can define ourselves based on this pain and our past, keeping this bitterness and resentments alive. For as much as we can close our hearts up to keep people out, we bemoan how no one can love us, wants to be around us, we have no friends. We are miserable and then we wonder why.
me!” can be someone like from the Little Shop of Horrors, that person-eating flower or it can be us asking “feed me?” Some people and even some tasks can feel like it drains our tank dry, even the energy we can have in reserve. By using the concept of a gas gauge, we can regain being in charge of how much energy we have for others and how much we need for ourselves. Are you with people who feed you or with some who drain your energy? For instance, what if today you have things to do today that are important to get done. How full is your gas/energy gauge show? Do you have enough energy to do that? If you give someone your energy, will you have enough to do what you wanted to accomplish today?
Sometimes at work I see ridiculous situations. Smiling and laughing is free with no adverse side effects. So to add to our New Year’s Evolution, how about laughing just for laughing. In the space of my car, I will just start laughing, even if it just for laughing sake.
What if the resolution turned into make 2016 about a REVOLUTION? Taking charge of our own pursuit of freedom? Freedom from want, freedom from financial struggles, freedom from being stuck in the story, freedom from being stuck in the daily grind of surviving and fearing the next shoe flying at our head?
sses we take on from others to meet their expectations. Plus, trying to capture and incorporate the many family traditions which is compounded when two or more families are involved. Those commercials show happy people, all those toys, gadgets and jewelry, even those fancy cars, to buy to make someone else happy. If you already have depression, imagine how much deeper the depression when those holiday bills arrive in your mailbox in January!
Was it fear, the what-ifs? Is it someone else who took a sledge hammer to your dream calling it stupid, selfish, realistic? What if you fail? Where are you getting the money for that? Foolishness to spend that kind of money. You should be responsible. Maybe when you retire. Maybe in a few years. You will be shirking your responsibilities to the others.
Could it be that when we take those leaps of faith, they are resentful that we did and they are not able to cross over to realizing their own dreams?
