It can be very challenging to surrender. Which does it mean? Giving up by raising that white flag or letting go? Letting go to find peace and to make room for the new is my path.
While meditating, I heard, “You don’t have to fight to live anymore.” Huh? I did not realize that I was doing that. Every.day.of.my.life… Stepping back to look at the bigger picture, I can see how that played out. Because I was living in the chaos growing up, I believed that if I didn’t do what I had to do, I might have died before being an adult. So I fought, sometimes tooth and nail, to stay alive. I pawed forward, shoving and making a space for me. I felt I had to either fight or give up, winner or loser—nothing in the middle. 
The picture I saw yesterday was the sword (and shield) I was carrying, poised for battle. God said I am a wonder, but not Wonder Woman. I can put down the sword and shield. As I laid them down, I felt so much lighter and much more peaceful. Last night was one of the best nights I had for sleeping. Maybe now, I will be able to allow life to come to me, open and receptive. My action will not be about fighting to gain ground; it will be for the ground to walk me to and for the best fit and highest good.
I am at a freer and more peaceful place now.
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