I have been struggling a lot lately with my work as I am not sure what is going on. Nothing too specific, just being…weird. Last week, I talked about it with several people. One person thought it was a possible reaction from my past from my family. Maybe I am reacting to that with that. Then I had a light bulb moment.
What if it was an opposite thing. Maybe it has more to do with the changes I have made in my life: mentally and spiritually. Maybe in the past I was more tolerant (or ignorant) of the environment, deciding money to survive was more important and I did not pay attention. Now with my growth, I am paying closer attention and am much less accepting of these conditions.
Going back into fear of lack of income held me hostage. I began to try to figure out how to “control” the situation. Then today, I had a flash of someone (angel?) telling me that it doesn’t matter. Ah ha!! This really doesn’t matter. That old trigger came knocking and I answered, spending too much time and energy going nowhere but back in history, that old familiar. Hearing that phrase several times was just the jolt to move me out from the past forward. Because it really does not matter. I cannot do anymore than what I am doing now. Doing the best that I can. It also can be I have outgrown where I am at and it is time for me to really focus on what I do WANT. How I would like to be treated. Something that more closely aligns with where I am at now in my life; not base it on looking in the rear view mirror. I am not that person anymore. Kindness, relevance and generosity for starters is a place I prefer to be in.
I am very grateful for my friends who have helped me reach this new plateau. On my refrigerator, I clipped out a blurb in the church bulletin: Fear knocked at the door; Faith answered; no one was there.
The opportunity has come to my door. It is time for me to look forward, to lay out a plan for me to move forward to investing more in my consulting business and invest in me.
Is it your time?
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