Stress management…or lack of management Part I

It is a challenging trek when dealing with stress. It depends on what it is, how it is, cause, duration, who and our current state of being determines how we can handle it and the options we use and whether there is a place of refuge to regroup.

Because we have experienced extreme stress while growing up, these current stressors can trigger the post traumatic stress disorder. Other people’s dramas and traumas can feel like a tank running over us with their stuff. Might even be a case of backing it up and going for another pass.

So how do we deal with those times? Eat more, don’t eat. Sleep more, insomnia. Shut down totally or read a book, play video games or solitaire on the computer? Sit in the dark or go for a walk? Seek out support or shut down? Bury yourself in work or seek solace in chemicals? We have our go-to list to handle this stress. We tend to use what has worked for us in the past even though it may not be working for us as well today. We can get defensive, cry, laugh, lash out or close off. For any of these, we may not be reachable by someone or find a better solution. Maybe we hunker down until the raging storm passes. When viewing the long list of things to do, we can get overwhelmed and not do much of any of the things that require attention.

That kind of stress can bring up old fear, grief and anger along with a sense of not being in control of what is going on outside of us. We know that trying to contain what is going on outside of ourselves is usually futile. We can slip into blaming, shaming, feeling or passing guilt, judging and making excuses to justify and even try to make sense of what is occurring. just let it pile up and now those things demand our attention? For me when my house becomes cluttered, especially the paper monster, I get frustrated and feel that I need to just throw it all out.

Usually, I can handle the stress when it is the run-of-the-mill daily stuff that I can compartmentalize. I make a list and check one task off then another. Narrowing down the scope of what is more urgent to what is less is helpful; particularly housework, yard work, spring house cleaning, workload at work. Even taking the tasks into smaller segments can reduce the stress and make for easier accomplishment. Checking each item off also gives me a sense of making progress and moving forward, not being stagnant.

In the past when it was the darkest, I would make myself do something like the dishes and make the bed just so I knew I wasn’t sliding into catatonia. Frozen by being so overwhelmed. At least I was making some sort of headway going forward. So when this kind of piling up happens, try to pick something, no matter how small, to do. Moving forward even at a snail’s pace is still movement while processing what else is going on.