Pruning

The sermon today talked about pruning what has withered, died or does not produce fruit. As I was thinking about this, I can see how there is so much stuff that I hang onto that is crowding the vine, sapping energy where I can use it someplace more fruitful.

My son is moving and is bringing all his stuff to the mom and pop storage facility (not all, just furniture and some other important items). We are doing some upcoming house repairs which require moving our furniture and stuff around, cramming it into one room. Ahhhhhhh! Stuff!! We even have to cram ourselves into a tinier space.

I have hung onto so many things because of a memory or out of loyalty to the person who gifted it to me. Imagine this: I have six sets of dinner dishes. Some things I do have an attachment to such as a few cute outfits my son wore as a baby. As I go through other things, I wonder why do I still have them. I know that letting go of things does require some sort of grieving process. It served a purpose at the time, maybe even now, but does it serve one now? Maybe the memory is a pleasant one; maybe it is an unpleasant one. It seems necessary to do the grieving to let it go in whatever level. I hung onto my wedding dress for a long time. My ex-husband’s cousin and I made it. It was beautiful to me, a labor of love (and cost savings). The marriage did not have many pleasant memories. So one day, I was able to donate it, let it go. I kept all the wedding cards tucked away in a box.

Years after the divorce, on New Year’s Eve, I lit a fire in the fireplace and sat in front of it. I read through each card, remembering the dreams I had for a happier life, a better marriage than my parents had. As I tossed each read card into the fire, I grieved. Not for the loss of the marriage; it was the loss of the dreams I had for it. Each card burning, going into smoke, lifting my dashed dreams up to the heavens, letting them go. Hanging on to this old stuff stifled my energy from going forward, to living in today.

As I go through the things and the memories, it is time to make more space for just…breathing! I can prune what serves me best and let go (donate, gift, toss) to have greater breathing room.

Pruning also means to take a look inside and spend time sorting out which old beliefs, resentments, blame, shame, guilt, excuse making and judgments and ask if they are keeping us from living now. Do they continue to work or do they keep us from moving forward, to gain that freedom and the energy to go on. What is keeping us stuck in the past, stuck in the story that keeps us from new experiences, adventures, love? Is it permission? Then you have it.