One of “Those” Days

Ever have days when you think you are the sane one and others around you do not make much sense? It’s like being in a fog and what people say do not match with your own reality? Clarity is lacking. It does not matter what you say about it, those words go through a muffler and comes out garbled into someone else’s ears and mind. Feels like a long stormy and foggy few days. What to do about it.

In this case, I will keep a lower profile, get some support, to ride it out’ see what unfolds in a few more days. Maybe it will be clearer and the yucky will have passed. Maybe, maybe, some common sense will become available?

I have noticed that people are trying to micromanage more. It is a control thing. Both are based mainly on fear and lack of trust. The tighter the reins, the greater the fear. Being in this space of other people trying to micromanage and me trying to control (damage control?) the situation is no longer working for me. Too stressful and uncertain outcome for me. It sucks my energy so that I feel so drained when I get home; I do not function well.

Talking with a few friends about it helped me to see different perspectives. Am I being shown how this pattern no longer works? Is it ramping up so I can clearly get the picture and to figure out what is the next step? Through this, I realize I need to sort through my feelings of being unappreciated for what I have done and grieve that loss. The steps include being angry, bargaining, grieving the loss of the old ways and then acceptance and change.

I cannot save the situation or the people involved. I learned that in Alanon, that loving detachment and practice self-care.It is like being on a railroad track trying to stop the speeding train. It is me who gets run over. I realize I am delaying that process of them learning their own lessons as well as my own.

When I am having one of “those days”, I used to go to bed early hoping whatever was clogging up the works will pass. Of course, there are days when it goes on for more days. Not trying to fix anything, but maintaining through the storm-tossed seas becomes my focus.