How Was Your Day?

I had one of “those” days at work. Drama from one place while working at the other place. Our cat was screaming in pain when I pet him by his tail. I was able to work through and with most of it. On Thursday evenings, I co-facilitate a support group for adult survivors of sexual trauma and abuse. So it was a very long day with lots of twists and turns in it. That day, I felt more like the pin ball, not the flippers.

What stood out is when I recounted my day to my husband, is how every day we tell stories. Sometimes they sound like novels, sometimes anecdotes or abridged versions. Our life has many chapters within those stories. Mysteries, suspense, reflectiion, comedy, dramas, dilemmas, who-dun-its, parables, self-help and educational. Of course, we have the opinion pages and can offer running commentary (to the television?). There are the historical accounts, past, present and futuristic ones. Some days our stories are real page-turners; other days are sleep-inducers with the mundane to fill out the rest. Our lives are shaped by the stories we tell and hear, even by those stories we do not tell.

When someone asks you, “how was your day?” it is a chance to offer a glimpse of your daily life, that what happened today is relevant, providing that person is actually willing to listen and not just want that cursory, “it’s okay.”

Stories are also a way to sort out issues and resolve problems, to gain support and other perspectives, creating space for other people while sharing our own vulnerabilities and humanness. Giving words to events, feelings, joys, little victories, fears, love, disappointments, encouragement and lessons helps move us toward action or peaceful resolution.

As we are listening to other’s stories, our brain is looking for words and phrases that connect with our own personal experiences. We do try to find a way to relate as a bridge toward understanding. It may seem like we are competing for air time when we really are looking for that personal connection of understanding from where the other person is sharing. Our brains are wired that way.

These are the diaries of our lives.